I reached home by about 6.30 in the evening on Thursday and my husband gave me the news that there was going to be a ‘Chalo Assembly’ rally the next day and that all the major routes to office would be blocked. ‘You better don’t go to office tomorrow’, he told me.
So very cool, I thought. I started encouraging the thought that I would take leave the next day and would get three continuous leaves. I could play with my son, take a biggg afternoon nap, and even go for a park or watch a movie in the evening. I could always call up my manager and tell her the situation and take an unplanned leave. I was basking in these happy thoughts when another very small and unpleasant thought kept popping my head.
I had little, but important work left to be done by Friday. And the next thought was even more unpleasant. I had the CHOICE to complete it or escape. I did not want to be responsible for things. If all the roads are blocked, how can I go?
Just then our neighbour uncle came to our house and enquired whether I was going to office the next day. I told him that I was still in the so called ‘deciding’ phase. ‘Even if the flyover and Masab tank routes are blocked, you can always take the Begumpet route. It is not blocked’. He felt he had given a way through my problem and felt glad about it. I kept a blank face. I wanted to yell at him
I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO OFFICE TOMORROW. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Why didn’t they block this route as well?
In the meanwhile, the charge in my mobile started getting low. And I realised that I left the charger at office. If the charge runs out by the next day, I might not be reachable to my manager and peers. Huh! As if things were not difficult already.
I went to bed with these conflicting thoughts. The major part of my mind was saying that I take a leave. But there was this very small part which told me to go to office and complete my work. And take the leave on another day.
In the morning, I switched ON the TV and waited for news that the Begumpet route was also blocked. Unfortunately, no such news came my wayL. I very reluctantly made up my mind that I’ll TRYYYY to go to office, that is my husband and me will start and if we sense, or rather I sense any difficulty in traffic, he is to drop me back at homeJ. Good idea, right?
Thus, we started on a different route. And as soon as we travelled about 100 meters or so, we saw the first barricade and the police were routing the traffic. This seemed to rouse my spiritsJ. I told my husband that every other route would be blocked and that it would be best for us to go home. But my annoyingly optimistic husband wanted to try everything possible to reach his office at Begumpet. After, some 2-3 such traffic routings, we reached a road with very little traffic and no barricades from there till BegumpetL. After reaching Begumpet, my I-Don’t-want-to-go-to-office resistance got down slightly, more out of chance than choice.
I got an auto quickly enough. I put my ear phones and started listening to songs. As the cool breeze was touching my face, very strangely, I realised that I started feeling happy. Happier than the other days when I was going to office!! Why today, especially when I started with the strong resistance of Not-wanting-to-go-to-office? Probably, it is for the very same reason that I was able to CONQUER that very strong feeling. I was happy because I did the RIGHT thing ultimately.