As told earlier, I have almost never done this sort of thing. As me and my husband got started, I started feeling very suffocated by the second or third round – too much crowd and not proper air circulation. I began to get the feeling – leave alone 108 rounds, I would not be able to complete even about 10 rounds. I might die of suffocation L maybe that’s how many accidents occur during pilgrimages. One small solace was that at two places in the temple, there was some open space where we could get some fresh air. As we continued, I would stop near the open space for a few seconds, get a breath of fresh and cool air and then continue my journey.
The initial rounds were the toughest. Time went very slow during the initial rounds. This happens only when you are unsure as to what might come up. As I went about, I started getting relaxed. The temple premises started getting more and more familiar and I just went with the flow of it. I was getting less and less bothered by the crowd and the lack of proper air circulation.
By the time I was doing my 50 or so round, my legs pretty much got used to it. And there was still another half part to be completed. Time goes very slow in such instances. All that the people were doing was make their round, count the number and proceed for the next round. Although there is nothing else or much to do, surprisingly I was not getting bored. It was a kind of flow with so many people doing a thing for a purpose..might differ from person to person, but each definitely had a purpose and that was the fuel to propel them.
So what was my purpose? Why was I doing this? Did I really believe in this sort of things? The answer to the second question is No and Yes. If you do such things, GOD would get impressed and look at you with a kind eye, NO.. I am not the sort of person to buy that. Then, what was I after? It’s a new challenge for me. The sort of thing I have never done before and am not sure how it might turn out. That excited me. I began understanding why so many people vouch to do such things as fast for two days or climb the temple steps on their knees. Keeping aside such things as serving the higher purpose and stuff, doing such things gives you a feeling of accomplishment. More often than not, a pseudo one. But definitely some feeling. Probably because you have come out of your comfort zone and have decided to take the first step.
So, has some belief finally got into my nerves? I myself cannot answer that question because, at this point, I have no clue as to what constitutes BELIEF. Although as anybody else, I am in the process of understanding or rather experiencing (as some wise put it) this whole mess.